Hail and Farewell
by jaceheronducks
Summary: It's the year 2013, and Clary is looking back on the tragic events that took place in 2007.


The year was 2013. Clarissa Morgenstern was sat on the ground in the small New York cemetery with a sketchbook propped on her knees and a piece of charcoal in her hand. One would hardly recognize her hidden underneath the hood of the worn green coat she was wearing. Then of course, no one that knew her knew she was there. And the ones who didn't know her name would never be able to see her if they passed her.

Her hand was moving over the paper with harsh, angry strokes, as if she was trying to fight her grief with the charcoal as her weapon.

She would rather be anywhere in the world right now than in the cemetery, but still she was there, as she was every year on that same day. She willed herself to come. Made herself go back and forced herself to remember, even though her mind begged her to forget. She couldn't let herself forget. She owed it to them to remember. She owed it to every person she had not been able to safe that day. To her mother and Luke. To Alec. To Aline. To Maia and Jordan. To all the others.

Clary put down the piece of charcoal and slid the heavy silver ring from her finger. She looked down at it, brushed her thumb over the engraved M.

The ring held a lot of memories too.

Jace had given it to her when he couldn't see it destroyed, and she had worn it for him for a long time, on a chain around her neck, like he had as well. It was only after the battle that she had started wearing it around her finger. There was no pride in the Morgenstern name, not anymore. There was only hatred, bad memories. Still, Clary was the last of the family. After her the name would vanish. With her would come the end of a long line of Shadowhunters who would never be remembered for their goodness, but only the wrongdoings of their progeny.

It was the last ring that had remained, after Sebastian had died.

Clary fiddled the ring between her fingers for a moment. It was soon to be replaced. Her name was about to change yet again. She started digging a small hole beside her, deep enough so the rain would never get it. She put the ring in it and covered it up.

When she was done she leaned back against the headstone and closed her eyes. She opened her mind, willing the memories to come back. Willing their faces into her mind.

First came her mother. Jocelyn was the easiest to recall, especially now Clary started looking like her more every day. Clary thought of her in her wedding gown, with her red hair dancing around her face like flames, and a smile playing on her lips and lighting up her eyes. She had never gotten married in the dress.

Luke came next. Clary remembered him, oddly, as she'd seen him in Hunter's Moon when Clary had come there to reason with Jace. She remembered how he had tried to help Jace, tried to convince him that he was not the one in the wrong. She remembered how grateful she had been.

Clary remembered Alec. Difficult Alec, brave Alec. Alec who had died to save Jace, his brother, his parabatai. Clary saw Alec's eyes full of shock at the thought of Magnus thinking he was handsome. She saw him kiss Magnus in Alicante. She saw him die in Magnus' arms.

Magnus had vanished after Alec's death. He had never contacted any of them again, never shown his face. No one even knew where he was. Not the Clave, not the downworlders, not even Tessa Gray who had been actively looking for him for years now. Clary always hoped she would see him once more, but she doubted it very much. Magnus had fought a battle that wasn't his, and had lost his reason for fighting it.

Clary often found herself thinking that the battle had been the hardest on the survivors. She thought this when she thought of Magnus, or when she looked at Simon and Isabelle.

Simon and Isabelle. Isabelle was notably older than Simon now. While Simon still looked like a teenager, Isabelle had grown older. She was still young, of course, but Clary could already see the curse starting to play on them. Isabelle and Simon loved each other immensely. Simon, because he loved her so much, felt he was selfish for throwing his curse on her. In his worries, Simon was becoming less human. Isabelle felt he was slipping away and clung onto him with everything she had, feeling he was all she had left in life now Alec and the rest of her family were gone. Clary feared it wasn't enough.

Clary opened her eyes when she felt something cold brush against her cheek. A snowflake. She got to her feet slowly, stretching her stiff limbs. It was getting late. Jace would be worried by now, even though he knew she always vanished on this day. He knew better now than to ask where she was going, had accepted she would never tell him.

Clary tore the drawing from her sketchbook and put it down in the dirt she had just been sitting on.

She looked down at the face on the paper. The harsh angles of the one face her memory had clung onto, while it had been trying to let go of the others. The black eyes seemed alive on the paper, locking on hers.

Clary shivered and looked up at the gravestone one last time, at the engraving she had made herself, in secret, on a gravestone and grave no one knew existed except for her. Then she turned away and left.

JONATHAN CHRISTOPHER MORGENSTERN  
AVE ATQUE VALE, FRATER  
MEA TORTORI, MEA INFERNO  
MEA LUCIFERI  
MEA FRATERI


End file.
